liewkor's Xanga

Bling bling!

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 17:27:53 GMT

Click here!

Yeah

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 06:45:34 GMT

You like that don't you?

Moving

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 23:22:44 GMT

The Prince of Ipoh has decided to move his blog over to Wordpress. Future updates will be posted here.

The advent of laziness

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 02:06:22 GMT

We all know that the english media in Malaysia is nothing more of a puppet show for certain political parties to assure the english reading public that everything is a ok in our great country. No. I'm not here to complain about the lack of transparency in the media cos I read chinese news. In fact, the purpose of this post is just to bitch about 1 post that my friend asked me to read.

PPM jobs bring chee to contractors. - The Star (July 19, 2006)

The third paragraph states that the article is a piece of collaborative work by 4 individuals. More like a collaborative effort of last minute copying and quoting what was stated. I could have done a better job while getting rimmed. I used to ... in fact I'm still doing it and getting better than average grades. Copying, not getting rimmed. Focus!

The crime that is committed is worse than frying eggs with abalone. Much worse than the multiple times I observe the 5 second rule on customers' food when I'm helping out in the kitchen.(Hi YY!) Imagine if the the good folks at Sun Yuen Loong Restaurant commits the cardinal sin of roasting the coffee beans in margarine for 1 hour instead of 10, where am I ever gonna find my perfect cuppa Ipoh white coffee?

Maybe the culture of contracting jobs to subcontractors are have finally spread to the media. I propose corporal punishment in the form of lashing per Jia Baoyu by his father as described in "A Dream of Red Mansions" for the betterment of my toilet reading material. Any bids?

Spanish 21

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 01:15:18 GMT

hmmm....no no no no no, i am not of the spanish descent and i am definitely nowhere near age 21.
but anyways...ola, if you happen to read this from a chicano point of view.
Because i am racially biased against minorities from a less contributing civilization, its very important that i bring you onboard.
Every culture and civilization had their share in making this world a little more hospitable place to live in by innovations and creations.
The Romans led us by far in this great leap forward (until the Americans) with air conditioner, cappuccino,
3-dimensional paintings, spaghetti, an idea to name a cd-burner (Nero), theatres, fashions and of course the list goes on.
The Greeks with Aristotle, AMERICA, mythic legends, the Olympic Games, science and politics and ideas.
The English with the word FUCK.
Chinese created gunpowder, ice cream, papers, printers, scholars and chicken fried rice, you get the idea.

I always ask someone from a different culture when i meet one, whats the contribution your culture had brought to the world?
Last week, my boss brought in Gonzales and Hidalgo to our kitchen team. Knowing my patience for culture strangers, my boss immediately warned me not to cause trouble. Living up to my nickname
'ah ngao' (bull), i approached them to introduce myself. Below's the low down of our introduction.

Ah Ngao: Eh!, you what name?
Gonzales and Hidalgo: Ola

Ah Ngao: OLAA??
Gonzales and Hidalgo: Ola

Ah Ngao: I said name...name, your name
Gonzales and Hidalgo: ????????

Ah Ngao: ok ok, now u call me 'huang ti' ok?
Gonzales and Hidalgo: ok ok.

Mr.Chen: Oi.....bring this to 539 N 24th #11 and here's the ticket
Ah Ngao: ok boss.

I left them to do the dishes alone.
I have nothing against south americans, i think they are huge contributions to this country. They are the ones breaking their back doing our dirty job while we enjoy the riches of this country.
The next time you order your favorite Orange chicken, remember its the Mexicans working the wok behind the kitchen doors. Definitely not chen tao or wang xi xi. Mexicans are the ones cooking the chinese foods here.

The thing about the mexicans is, they are too damn quick for the chinese in the kitchen. There's no way the chinese there can stay competitive. It concerns me and my job security there.
Now's the time i show them who's the emperor here. I used to play in the midwest games for UNL.
My experience as a playmaker in the first 5 team A basketball team made me a fighter for this job i am about to lose. I can be fast like them too because everytime i was about to dribble the ball into the buzzer, ah ching would always say 'nia ma chau ji bai, fai tit lar' to me. That made me play faster.
Ah ching's scoldings still echoes in the background whenever i walk in the kitchen. That made me walk faster than Gonzales and Hidalgo. I cant discredit ah ching for grooming me for times like these.

OOopss, its time to go work now, i better hurry.....

To be continued............

The Peony Pavilion

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 07:30:44 GMT

You don't normally read blogs on chinese folk tales but when human bonding takes a twist of ill fate on virtual grounds, its a good idea to read on.
Recently, a senior acquaintance of mine confessed to me his affairs on a rather popular online dating site.
'i found my diamond in the rough' he unappealingly told me. I guess he was lucky our little chat didnt enfold in my kitchen. Considering the rude awakening he put me through.

To me, an obscene statement like that is a big slap on 5000 years of chinese history's face. Where are the Tale of Lady White snake (Bai se Niang) and The Peony Pavilion (Mudan Ting), among many others, when chinese begin to lose interests in love relationships? I mean actual physical love relationship where the men meet the women in restoran song heng, conventionally.

To add insult to injury, these chinese hillbillies are taking it for real by associating marriages to their 2 hr 14 minute msn messenger chatting relationship. Gimme a toilet break already. Li niang, from the Peony Pavilion tale, had to die for years before her imaginary Scholar Liu* ultimately turn up at her grave. Of course the romance only took place at the expense of her death. Scholar Liu's ecstasy touched her back to life and they lived happily ever after.
But who's gonna live happily ever after from hooking up online when you are a 49 yr mexican dude expressing your love for a 21 yr latino bombshell. 21 yr latino bombshell, in reality (chatting on the other end of the modem internet line) is 55 yr chinese divorced alien.

The whole issue with finding your significant other through online matchmaking is a fake orgasm with a blow up doll. It just doesnt stack up. Its like having your egg drop soup without your crab rangoon and having your General's chicken sunny side up.

No price for guessing how 10 out of 10 online matchmakings turn out eventually. I guess my point is, its alrite to eat chinese, but dont let patronizing the wrong joint stops you from having chinese again.

On a different note, i was thinking of convincing my boss to expand his take-out business on this blog.

Singles should go out and play without shooting yourselves in the leg.

*This is not a coincidence

FYI

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 00:31:38 GMT

Prominent people from ipoh

Ipoh has its share of prominent people who are known regionally or internationally, especially in business and entertainment:

1.Dato' Michelle Yeoh, who acted in the James Bond film Tomorrow Never Dies and more recently Memoirs of a Geisha. (She is an alumnus of Main Convent Ipoh, and was awarded the honorary title Dato' by the Sultan of Perak in recognition of her achievements.)

2.Cartoonist Mohammad Nor Khalid, better known as Lat, had his primary education in Jalan Pasir Putih school and secondary education in Anderson School.

3.Angie Cheung Wai Yee, a Hong Kong based-actress who was born in Ipoh.

4.Michael Wong (Guang Liang), a Taiwan based-singer from the former Michael & Victor (Guang Liang Pin Guan) duet, was a student of Sam Tet school.

5.Badminton players (representatives of Malaysia at international events) include Cheah Soon Kit (Atlanta Olympics Silver Medallist for men's doubles), and Koo Kien Kiet. The latter was a student of St. Michael's Institution, Ipoh.

*Directly quoted from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ipoh

There's a lesson in this blog and that is to inspire my local folks in Ipoh to believe in themselves and work their ways up to become a chinese delivery boy in Uncle Sam's land like me, if not people on the above list, although they didnt quite start out the same way i did.

Just a pixel for my colleague in the kitchen to remind them of my roots and aspirations. Dont mess with me zhong kok chan!!
**my favourite picture on my toilet wall for this month

When is the ji chao fan dude going to get this lucky?

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 05:51:35 GMT

In the delivery business we call this hitting the jackpot. My delivery escapades have taken me to gentleman clubs like the Foxy Lady and The Night before but not once was I even close to catching a glimpse of any camel toe. Here we have this guy delivering a piece of fat and getting so lucky. What is the point of cooking ji chao fan in healty peanut oil . Sometimes I think I'm in the wrong industry.

Check it out.

-liew

A brief history

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 20:06:30 GMT

If any of you had the the time to check out my stunning profile picture, you'll probably notice my resemblance to the emperors of the Han dynasty. My surname was unregretably misspelt Liew from Liu due to the dumb fuck in charge of immigrant registration when my ancestor first stepped foot on Nanyang.

In order to maintain the secrecy of my lineage I've resorted to measures more extreme than what the Priory of Sion did to protect the Holy Grail. I had to stop growing a beard. There is one significant incident during my years at college when I recalled I had to resort to shaving my beard with a swiss knife before my appearance at a social as the president of an organization infested with chinese educated posers who look to Taiwan as Mecca. Even I, a chinese ed, was disgusted with their showing of pride to an island who has no intentions to be associated with them. Suffice to say, my plan would worked almost flawlessly had I not cut myself while shaving in front of a side mirror of a car in a dark parking lot.

If you think concealing my identity as a descendant was tough, imagine what what I had to endure going through life without a multitude of virgins at my disposal when collecting Japanese flags ranks at the top of my list of hobbies. Thankfully there is a local haunt that enables me to relive my destiny even for a short period. Had it not been for the Ipoh Classic Spa I would have never knew what kind of life an emperor leads. Did I also mention that I live fairly close to the Malaysia/Thailand border. I promise I'll do a review of the Ipoh Classic Spa the next time I'm back with my Canon SD400.

You might wonder where this is all leading to. The only thing you can do is to check back while I take smoke break. I've attached a picture of how I should have looked like with my moustache. Remember to bow on your way out.

-liew

I may lose a battle, but i'll win the war

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 07:34:43 GMT

Have you ever wondered what you could do with $8 grand in the American currency in your possession?
To me that's a small amount especially if it appears in tiny quarter-shaped chips. That's exactly what i had infront of my baccarat table before i gave them back to where they came from, the casino. To some others, that amount represents many hard hours spent in a chinese restaurants' kitchen or more familiarly, many trips between the restaurant and fans of broccoli beef's residences.

Ironically enough, that small fees also amounted to the worth of the payments for some credit hours at my university. Damn it, why am i wasting my time writing this when i should really be worrying about footing my next due expenses and tuition fees. Perhaps i should follow my chinese hunch and head back to my favourite casino to reclaim my money back because losing one battle doesnt constitute a lost war just yet.

The other thing i could do, is to request for more hours from my stingy chinese boss. Boy, then i would need to worry about how the comrades in the kitchen would react to this. Taking the hours from them is like making china swap one-child policy to no-child policy.

I think i'll just bite the bullet and opt for the higher risk. Keep the chinese happy with their hours.
Speaking of the chinese, dont you think the americans should really be grateful with them for their communist way of controlling the rapid human population the world is facing today?
Definately the chinese were light years ahead of the world when it comes to the ecological systems of biological control. Let's first look at the problem before we see how the chinese government stepped up to it.
The world population has always been on an upward increasing trend eversince the early centuries of human civilisation. With more humans on this small planet, land occupations become a serious threat and we saw how our forefathers took care of this, heck they just wiped out the others in their race for more lands. We got the 2 world wars and that was just the right biological control to keep human population on the right figure.
This biological control, which works the same way fishes consume insects, snakes consume rats, bigger animals take on smaller ones and a simple predator and prey theory, saved human from overpopulating the earth. Wars took out some millions of human population and replaced that with an equal-healthy-balanced world population. Shouldnt we be thankful of that?
There are no giant aliens that can fly in once in a million years to help shift this balance or a legal way for governements to draft a hit-list.
So back to my point, the Chinese government sure know how to get straight to the point without beating around the bush...eh Bush.
There you go, a new gung-ho alternative to war. Dont you just love the chinese now for doing this planet a favor.
When other nations are pulling the triggers, the chinese simply put on their rubbers.

Chia hau